My wife and I have an 11 month old son. Parenthood is one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do in life. I knew we would not get sleep and that he would require a lot of attention but no one told the effects it would have on my body and connection with my wife. Having a kid pretty much takes all your freedom until your child gets older. They depend on you for everything. It feels like roles have reversed, my wife and I are the kids and my son is pretty much the boss. He comes first before everything, he eats before us, baths before us, sleeps before us and etc. I never realized the simple thing I took for granted before my son was born like eating, showering, having sex with my wife, taking a dump, watching a movie and taking a nap. Who’d ever thought it would be a tough decision choosing sex or sleep. Before my son was born 10 out of 10 times I would choose sex but now a lot of the time sleep is just as good as sex (i cant believe I just typed that).
Having a kid has taught me a lot about myself. I thought I was a patient person but it turns out I am not! I have come to the realization that I/men are not built or designed to handle the new born phase. My wife has to constantly remind me that our son is still a baby in my mind I want him to be 5 years old. I have no patience when it come to crying if he’s fed, changed diaper and is not in any physical pain he has no reason to be crying (In my mind) so when he does I cant fathom that he has anything to be crying about so when he does I literally tell him “you’re alright stop crying.” If he doesn’t stop crying soon after I usually give him to his mom or she’ll usually step in and tell me, “he’s just a baby.” My son fights his sleep worse than any kid I’ve ever seen. You’d think Freddy Krueger was waiting on him in his dreams the way he fights his sleep. Let me start by saying I suck at putting my son to sleep. If he’s full and dozing off I can do it but if he he’s not dead tired I can not put him to sleep. I will lay him down and he’ll lay down for a few then get back up and stand in his crib, after about 5 rounds of laying him down and him getting back up I lose patience and just walk out of the room like fuck it! His mom has the ability to sooth him and get him to fall asleep (I think she’s a mutant). This is why I say men aren’t built for the newborn/baby phase.
Now that our son getting older (11 months) things are getting slightly easier. My wife want another kid (over my dead body) so our son wont grow up alone. Just the thought of going through this again literally hurts me physically. Just the thought of starting over just when I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel makes me sad. If my wife could birth a 5 year old I would be willing to give her another one. I’ll be 37 in May and I never wanted to be old with young children and I don’t want to be old when we finally get our lives back.